No, no, really, it’s my last post. I realise I am becoming like an old eighties diva coming back on for one last encore. I just wanted to sign off with some photos as my wonderful friend Sharron, 6 months pregnant herself, took the trouble to come and take these at my parents’ house at the weekend on a day when it was probably the last thing she wanted to do. If anyone is looking to hire a photographer for portraits or weddings her website is Goodyear Photography
We are settling into a sort of car crash rhythm at home. It is just dawning on me that my life will not really be my own for about another 18 years.
Beatrix slept beautifully until her brother came home. Now it’s all gone to pot and one feed just rolls into the next as we fight our way through each night realising that being late 30s and 40 something means we are not quite as able to cope with the lack of sleep as we once were. Alexander is wonderful and so affectionate and interesting (can a baby be interesting? I think so. He has depth and soul!) but much more unsettled than his sister. He needs a lot more love and attention. She is pretty mellow and seems quite content. I don’t want to risk projecting on to either of their nascent personalities but I really feel that what Alexander has been through early on has affected him. He has a heartbreaking pain cry with his ever worsening reflux that sounds as mournful as a peacock. He needs cuddling to sleep every night on one of our chests and his big steely grey blue eyes follow you with such ardent dependency you feel you have to go the extra mile for him. He’ll be fine but we feel he needs us very much.
Lucas continues to be the dream brother. As he is super chatty right now he is supremely
un-jealous of us cuddling the babies as long as we talk to him and role play with his cars during feeds. He likes to hold his brother and sister’s hands, kiss them, touch their cheeks and cuddle up to them.
The days are a calm, sleep deprived fog but, as the sun goes down, these babies’ demons awake. Every night the husband and I discuss a new strategy. Tonight we are man on man (or baby) marking. I am willing to try whatever works. Just for the gift of more than two hours sleep in a row. This is simply how it’s going to be for a while. Acceptance makes it feel much better.
It is wonderful to have them home, don’t underestimate the joy we still feel. But we/I will have to step up my game when it comes to making the huge amounts of time feeding feel fun and endeavour to make it out of the house at least once each day.
Ok. Here goes another night in the menagerie. We’ll get there. Just glad to be out in the world once more.
So long and thanks for the company. It’s been a blast.