I looked out of my kitchen window this morning and saw that the tiny plum tree we planted back in May in memory of Alexander’s identical twin had already grown higher than the garden fence. It’s taken that long for this last part of our journey to play out. It had two mysterious plums which nearly grew ripe then disappeared, presumably with the help of some birds, and has had a life of its own while our two babies have been waiting for their Iives to begin. 66 days and 67 nights.
Perhaps it’s wrong to think of their hospital stay that way. They’ve known love and kindness from many people. They’ve been kept safe and warm and been helped to grow and develop to the point where they can more or less do it on their own with help from us. But from my perspective their new lives start today. Our new life as a family starts here. And I’m excited.
In half an hour we are going to pick up our son, Alexander, from hospital and he is coming home. I can hardly believe it. A few weeks ago it seemed this day would never come. He passed his second sleep study last night by just 1%. I am a little anxious about him coming home but I’m sure once he’s been out and been fine a couple of days that will ease. He still desaturates when he feeds but I know what to do. I can’t do anything about it while I am asleep. We’ll be fine. I know we will. I feel so much more confident and resilient having lived through the extraordinary adventures of this year and this pregnancy and birth. It changes you, that’s for sure.
I think I will end this blog at the end of the week. There is less and less time now as the relentless feed, change and sleepless night schedule kicks in. Maybe I’ll start another blog on life with twins but I’m not pprom queen any more. Just a (happy) mum with three kids. I want to put four months plus in hospitals behind me and start enjoying normal life again. I literally can’t wait.
Writing the blog and having you all there has made it so much more bearable and I have got so much support and pleasure from your comments and emails and just knowing you were out there rooting for us. Thank you.
Here goes. I feel like I’m stepping off a cliff into a cloud and I don’t know where the ground is. A whole new meaning to walking on air.