No no not me, the girl!
must stop whinging on before you all desert me. Thank you for kind notes of support yesterday and today. I will try and be more positive.
The mastitis has magically cleared up with diligent pumping and drugs, i slept well and the world looks different. Today I managed four average to good feeds with Beatrix and two A+ ones with Alexander who has decided he wants a piece of the action. Every time his sister feeds he looks around him and makes noises as if to say ‘Hey what’s she getting?’. He is incredible strong and sleeps soundly with no vomiting after a feed. By contrast when they tube feed him he grumbles uncomfortably and spews all the time. They are trying to fatten him up but he can’t tolerate it.
Still just six feeds plus changes is an 8.30am to 7pm shift. Tiring but satisfying today as I feel we are getting there together. They are as determined as I am and I can tell they are getting better at it.
Today Beatrix turned her head and studied me quizzically while I was winding her and I felt like she was looking at me and really seeing me for the first time. The feeding is making me feel like I matter to them. We are definitely doing a bit of delayed bonding. They both have their little characters already. We gave her her first bath this afternoon, wrapped in a sheet to keep her from freaking out. I washed her smelly hair with cotton wool and the nurse plunger into the bath and gradually let her feet, then her legs and then her body feel the water. She really seemed to like it. Imagine 6 weeks before your first wash. Poor Alexander had to wait another couple until he comes off his heated mattress.
The in laws have gone home and the house is ours again. So grateful for their help but it is nice to have your space back. Childminder back Monday and sanity will be restored.