5 weeks ago my waters broke. I was 21 weeks and three days pregnant with twins and I thought it was all over. The doctors wore their lip sucking, ‘we’re-not-telling-you-the-whole-story-but-it’s-probably-bad’ faces an kept me in for a week waiting for me to miscarry. It didn’t happen. I am probably tempting fate by writing this blog. I am probably goading the gods but I feel stubborn and defiant and determined that these babies aren’t coming out for eight more weeks. I don’t know who this blog will reach. It’s really just to keep me sane and amused as I enter week 6 of bed rest, back in hospital with bleeding…but still in the game. But I wanted you, reader, if you happen to find yourself in similar circumstances, to know that you can go on and on and on, and it isn’t over just because they suck their teeth at you. So hang in there.
So far I am discovering some simple, happy things out of my enforced confinement.
1. My neighbours are really kind. I’m learning to ask people for help and figuring out why we live in communities. One neighbour even turned up with premature baby sized coats hats and mittens she’d knitted for the twins and has taught me to knit. I am hopeless and haven’t done it since my Chinese grandma taught me as a child. I’ve got neater but more tense and no less clumsy.
2. I’ve learnt that my two year old is just as happy hanging out on the sofa drawing with me as running around doing endless overpriced activities. He just loves having my undivided, captive attention. We’ve learnt about love from watching Wall-e 50 times (now he tells me he loves everyone ‘too much’) and he can do ‘jazz hands’ thanks to a visit from musical fans Ashley and Madeleine. I think his father was horrified.
3. My friends, and particularly my mummy friends – even ones I’ve only known a short while through NCT, are rather heroic.
4. I can stay busy sitting still (sort of).