Exit wounds

So we went, half an hour to get Alexander’s paper and medication together they said. Husband held him. I was fidgeting with nothing to do and to keep myself busy I thought I’ll just go and check what breast milk I have left in the hospital freezer to make sure the breastmilk donation people take the right ones. Oh how the devil makes work for idle hands. I had one last pump for old time’s sake and while I was doing it I attempted to open the freezer draw that a week before I had rammed shut in a hurry so thinking ‘cor the next person to open that is going to have a job’. It was me. As I yanked and heaved the door of the tray above mine came flying off and smacked me in the eye so hard I saw tweety birds and stars like a Tom and Jerry cartoon. I put my hand to my head and blood ran down my wrist. So there I am, sterile breastmilk pumping gear attached to one boob, sterile freezer now covered in blood open and blood running into my eye. This is the most comic injury I have ever inflicted on myself. And believe me, as a klutz I have had a few of these in my time. Luckily a nurse came in and saved me but packed me off to A and E in case I had bleeding behind the eye. I must have seemed a little confused too as I was stumbling over my words. I had actually been doing this all morning through tiredness and over excitement but I duly trotted off and must have been the only person at the admission desk begging not to be admitted. The nurse there agreed it could probably do with ice but was ok as it was above my eye but I have a fantastic shiner this morning.

It was as if the hospital, my dear West Mid, could not bear to part with me. After all we have been together since January and I hadn’t been to see A and E for some time. That freezer’s had it in for me since we got there.

But in spite of the drama Alexander did make it out and we did make it home. Lucas seems excited and thrilled by the addition and keeps gentle stroking his new baby brother and sister’s heads and kissing them. He is a nice boy and I am so proud of how generous and un-possessive he is.

One of the nurses that was there when we left, Faith, said she’d miss me and I thought I will miss you all too. I’ve actually made a few friends these last few months. Mothers and nurses I’ve met along the way at different stages of my journey. And this may seem strange after you’ve followed months of moaning, but it has been a positive and life affirming experience. I’ve met a lot of humanity, not to mention incredible professionalism and kindness from all the NHS staff.

Alexander seems unsettled but relieved. I can tell it is a big adjustment for him and he keeps looking at me with those big soulful eyes as if to say ‘Where am I? Is it ok? Oh you’re here. Good.’

We keep lying them down together to see what they’ll do. It’s very sweet. See next post for the milk queue this morning. Home sweet home.

Here we all are on exit. I have seen this image in my head a thousand times. We finally made it through the door.

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One response to “Exit wounds

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